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Silence is golden I was out having a cup of tea at the newly open cafe. There, this new guy whom i know for only 2 months from the club was meeting 2 female friends of his from the college years. They both have their boyfriends but was not present. I was really exhausted from waking up at 6am and worked until late 7pm on the V day. Tiring but rewarding pay *smile*. I couldnt reject his uncertain words of inviting me out for a cup of tea. Eagerly , and dressed elegantly, I went out for a drink. The evening could have been much better if two of the female friends (pharmacist graduate) would stop boasting around on the property investments, comestic, beauty therapy, pills, hairstyling, their downpayment on a luxury car, branded goods, etc. I was totally quiet, exhausted myself trying to find some rest. Figuring if only my ears could have some rest from those two show-off non-stop female whom i didnt know. This male friend of mine was really quiet. He was observing my reactions. At last, the strange thing happened. One of the female friend asked me to drink a cup of beer. I was really scared but he said "come on, try it" and so i finished it off. I never have beer. Oh yes, i drink wine. To his surprise, he didnt know i couldnt drink beer. After i told him, I see the despair from his face. I drank as fast as i could. Wanting to leave the place and going home for a peaceful rest. Some may call me a boring, coward person for not defending myself in front of those female. Ive got used to it for the rest of my life. Having people to stamp around in front of me. To stamp on my prides. Yet, I knew no one understands mi but myself. I know what i learnt. Of course, i didnt tell them im a hairstylish, a beauty therapist, an IT/IS related, and a florist! I was too busy absorbing what those two were talking about. I wonder if he understands how i felt? Or am i only a useless person in his eyes? I admitted im not as smart, beautiful and sexy as one of his female friends. Should i join the crowd? *sigh* There... i blew the chance off again. |
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2/21/2007 4:30 am |
you maintained the dignity of yourself.. people who boast about the things they have and what they do and their investments.. would become very small people really quick if those things were suddenly taken away.. but if you lost all possessions you'd still have the pride and dignity of being gracious and competent in whom you are.. enjoy the value that you hold without, let other boast about what they hae outside of themselves, they may not have much within themselves..
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You can be the best without exerting more effort to be notice... Poise is important and keeping your composure inspite of the situation really gives you the advantage... Just be yourself no matter what and it will paid off in the end...
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Some are natural leaders and some born followers. I like to 'play' at leading from behind. In other words, getting the leader(s) do do as I wish without directly asking. It's all done by inference, negative demands (asking for the opposite of what is wanted) - great fun and as long as it is 'fun' it matters not if I get a result. People can be influenced in many ways and can be 'lead' to take a path without knowing it. We all do things we don't really want to - sometimes for no other reason than to please someone we are fond of. We all do things to please others. We all do things for ourselves. The important thing is that we do what we choose for ourselves even when we give in to please others or even to save face. Always be true to yourself even when you walk away. TG
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2/21/2007 9:25 pm |
Ann, Silence is gold. However, sometimes we must speak up or 'sell' ourselves, otherwise, how other know what we are thinking?  Please don't disturb a chicken before he hatches.
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2/22/2007 1:37 am |
aww Goan your observation, no doubt  as precise as usual. I am only a follower to whom i wished to serve (ie. family and to my mentor). Thank you Brother Touch. Speaking of Values. There is so much to learn, and so much to keep. As we slowly get into the social circle, we will meet various type of people. Being gracious, and humble is something which this world doesnt seem to exist much in the younger generations. It is a matter of choice made by that particular person. Bonjour Rejoice my dear friend Its so nice to see your comfy picture. Oh Yes it is my friend. It does makes one feels much more humble. Ive always have this type of attitude in mi. Whenever a person boast about their greatness or achievements, i will always think, he/she did great! I admired his/her spirits. However, there is also a limitation. ANYONE can bypass that achievements. We cannot forever have a "WIN" situation. Someone who can perform better than ourselves.fedders: Ive never see the "advantage" that i will get for keeping things to myself or not shouting out what i felt. Things could have been worst if u meet really nasty people. Anyway, people can be ungrateful or nasty to me, but i must NOT do so to others. Still, it is indeed a test of pride. Always been a test of pride. Whenever i go or whatever i do. Sam ah yes thats what ive been thinking and felt too. Being content, trying to stay peaceful and leaving all the outside worlds to others, having to do what we should do and try to do well. YES, you are so right! I COULD have stood up for myself. But, i dont see the reasons why i should. Whats the point of voicing out? Do i get anything? nope.... all what i have learnt, the time spent, the money spent, all the sweat and blood just for KNOWLEDGE. You can call me a knowledge-parasite i dont mind but look at it at the bright side. I am willing to share IF both of the girls has been sweet and nice. TG: Interesting aspect over there. As for myself, i was thinking... those girls can use their mouth to talk over something. As for me, i dont have to talk much. All i need to do is action I can perform the service immediately as a proof LOL. Oasispdc: Hello my friend. I shall speak up when i am needed or to "market" myself. No point "marketing" to those 2 girls. When i speak, its either the $ OR the fame will follow me. Look, not going to boast here but saying the fact. Ive presented my speech in the beginning of this month in the neighbouring city. Due to my incompetent (yes, there are more ppl better than me), ive been chosen to re-present the speeches which i have done to a local hotel group. In another word, i will be doing a speechcraft by representing my own club.
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2/22/2007 4:22 am |
I wonder if he understands how i felt? Or am i only a useless person in his eyes? I admitted im not as smart, beautiful and sexy as one of his female friends. Should i join the crowd? ---- Ann, Just be Yourself. If he doesnt like that, then its his loss. Surely those others had boyfriends already anyways.. so I dont think he was after them as anything more. You said he was quiet too.. so maybe he was also uncomfortable with thier chatter. Maybe he was thinking more about you... If you really are interested in this guy, try asking him out privately some time. As then you can share things without inturruptions. You can see if there are sparks between you two. The worst thing that can happen is he says 'no' ...right? But, if this guy liked these types of people, then maybe he is also very shallow, and not worthy of your good company. Then again, because he only knew them from collegde, they may have changed a lot over time. Only one way to know for sure, and that is to ask him at a later time. As for being "in" its not the best way to be. Better to be a real person, rahter than trying to be someone else that tries to make others happy. Because in reality, you will never be able to make everyone happy. And these people rarely really care for you anyways. Spend time with the people who matter most, and who love you for who you are, 'as you are'. Be comfortable with who you are, be proud and happy and confident. As you are worth every bit of that. Remember also, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You are your own worst critic... and many men will find you to be breathtaking in thier eyes. And That mere external beauty is not everything, nor everyones desires. Most men would prefer to be with a good hearted woman instead of a supermodel with a bad attitude for example. As for intelligence, or even success... These are not always important in matters of the Heart. Look witin yourself, and ask yourself the same questions... and what your answers would be if it were from the other side. By the way, Wine is much stronger than beer hehe. Though, I personally do not like the taste of Beer. I like the good tasting drinks like Strawberry Margaritta's, White Russians, etc. Im not a frequent drinker... but if I go out, I may do a good job of getting 'happily' drunk hehehAnyways, Good Luck Ann, Steve
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2/22/2007 6:10 pm |
oh Steve, im so happy you could drop by Uh.. at the moment, I wont be active in the club. Trying not to meet him for about 3 months. Taking my course revision (having exam in March and April) as the excuse. Additional reason is because.. perhaps i dont understand him much (or should i say, i hardly give myself a break to understand him?). As u mentioned, whether he is worthy to be a friend or even a future companion... that question mark is still there and im not brave enough to provoke. heh  i have tasted margaritta...i like it but i seldom get the chance to try it out in my own country. Have them when im was in Oz.
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2/22/2007 11:54 pm |
toukki, Happy to drop by You sound like a very Busy woman. heheh Finishing up on your priorities is probabaly best to do before trying to start a relationship. As for your friend, Take your time. Ive heard from many people that the longest lasting relationships come from the best of freinds... who have eventually evolved into life partners. Also, if you become very comfortable as freinds, you may feel much more confident (brave ) in your approach.Best of Luck! Steve PS: Sorry to hear your limited access to Margaritas hehe The drink that I buy to get really smashed, is called "Long Island Iced Tea". One = Feelin Good.. Two = Drunkin KungFu time! lol Three = Very Very Ill (especially the next day). Ive learned my limits the hard way! heheh
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2/23/2007 1:17 am |
yeah I have many friends from here labelled me as "workalcoholic" / Busy woman! The 2nd statement i will most probably get to read is, "dont forget to stop and rest" LOL If u asked me why? I think the best answer is,... because i fear being alone. Because of this, ive been trying to occupy all of my time with "something". uh at the moment, ordinary friend then. Who knows? He might not be suitable for me. heh i should find the time to have a sip of margaritas. Everything stops and starts in the beginning of May 2007.
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2/23/2007 5:02 am |
Ann, Can you elaborate on what you fear about being alone? Maybe I can give you some advice, as Ive lived alone for a bit too long of a time. Ive gotten used to it.. but would of course rahter have a partner close, to share life with. Try not to work too hard Ann If you were to somehow lose your life tomorrow... You may regret that you didnt take the time to enjoy some of the sweetest things in life. *pours a nice cold margarita for Ann 
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2/23/2007 7:28 am |
Steve, someone used to asked me this particular question. Question: Why do u need a bf for? I answered by explaining how i wanted so much to share all my joys, achievements and sadness with him. That person said, "Oh my gosh.. u want to share what? your achievements?! and all your sadness?" So, i wonder...what is wrong with that? In the past, i only know.. having a close partner is just like pouring all your sadness to him. Present him surprises and gifts is the way to make him happy. I guess... when a person grows older... "these" doesnt works anymore for me. Ive beginning to feel the urge to have someone sharing all my discussions, knowledge, achievements and travelling experiences. My fear of being alone. I like doing things alone. I got used to be alone. Not harming anyone and just doing what seemed right/ethical. Im not having a lot of friends but those who are close to me are true as the pearl. Sometimes i fear. I fear of lack of self-discipline. I fear, without having much things to do or to keep my mind occupy or to keep my heart satisfied.. i would feel so frustrated. It is the routine that makes me a much happier person. I have very little things to regret. Or should i say, ive got used to being contented. Not having to prove anything to anyone. Just to fulfill my knowledge and to kill the time. Even if im not working, i still find things to do. Doesnt have to be academic or training, it can be to serve for a club/association, to participate in the social work or volunteer for the red crescent. I have a few targets/aims for the month of May. To build and maintain a website for the club, to hold several functions. Another one is to taste all types of beers. I will call a friend of mine to fetch me home if im fainted LOL. Definitely ask them to look after me. thanks *take the cold margarita*
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2/23/2007 9:33 pm |
"Im not having a lot of friends but those who are close to me are true as the pearl." -- Ann, we share that in common for sure. I had thought maybe you were affraid to go into a relationship, and fall in Love. This is why I asked. I didnt realize it was because you get fusterated when you are inactive. Ive known another persons father, who was like this. Though I do not think its a shared think among the masses. Me personaly, I love to just relax... sometimes doing a lot of almost "Nothing" for a long period of time. heheh (I need a little more motivation, and maybe you need a little less heheh ) I hope you find happiness, whichever road you chose to attain it. Hugs, Steve PS: Ann, if you go out to sample the Liquors, please try to do it with at least one sober friend to watch over you. Cause its not safe if you pass out, without anyone to protect you. Take care of yourself
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2/26/2007 9:38 am |
Greetings Toukki,Rich people dont tell how much they have. You can tell.So if i see you with them for the first time? i would think you have it all, from with in. pricless!
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3/4/2007 5:59 am |
*smile at Steve* Thanks willywon. I think what u said is very true. Ive seen those who are very rich but they speak very little. They are scared of getting exposed.
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