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Ouch!!!! 7/30/2007
A fellow decides to take off
early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar loses
at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters
his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes
off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs.
Halfway up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands
flat on his rear end. That wouldn't have been so bad, ...
3 Comments, 178 Views,
15 Votes
,4.82 Score
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Switched!!! 7/30/2007
A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girlfriend's
birthday. As they had only started dating, after careful
consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike
the right note: personal, but not too personal.
Accompanied by the girlfriend's younger sister,
he went to Dillards and bought a pair of white gloves. The
sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During
the ...
4 Comments, 72 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Flower Bribes 7/29/2007
One Friday, two women were sitting and talking. One woman
looked up and saw her husband coming down the street with
a bunch of flowers in his hand. She rolled her eyes and said, “There comes the a**hole with
flowers in his hand. Now he'll expect me to spend the
weekend on my back with my legs in the air.”
Her friend promptly replied, “Don't you have a vase?”
2 Comments, 65 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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Travel 7/19/2007
Robert Johnson had been retired for a year when
his wife of fifty years suggested one day, "Why don't
we take a cruise for a week and make wild passionate love
like we did when we were young?"
He thought it over and agreed. Bob put on his hat and coat
and went down to the corner drug store. He stepped up to the
counter and asked for a bottle of seasick pills and a box
of condoms. ...
12 Comments, 236 Views,
13 Votes
,4.32 Score
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Jumbo sausage please 7/17/2007
A Japanese man married to an American woman who can never
speak Japanese language. Let' name her Cynthia!
Cynthia wants to impress her husband by cooking his favorite
food. But when she checked the fridge there is no pork. So
she went to a butcher, since she can't speak Japanese
she showed her thigh. The butcher understood what she needs.
That night her husband had a ...
3 Comments, 168 Views,
17 Votes
,1.43 Score
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What are you going to do if the guy is playing with you?? 7/9/2007
Most of the girls falling in love so fast with a guy, but the
guy doesn't feel that way, they just want to play around
you. Seem's like they doesn't care if you like
him or not. However, they will talk to you or call you only
when they need you and when they got bored. What kind of guy
is this?
3 Comments, 419 Views,
17 Votes
,3.97 Score
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here is a nasty bar drink 6/18/2007
this is a true story but funny. me and a friend were in a bar
a couple of weeks ago and he wanted a shot of tequila. so the
bartender says to my friend take it like a man, and we say
what. then he says instead of licking the salt snort it,
instead of sqeezing the lemon into the drink sqeeze it into
your eye, then drink the shot. i say no way but my friend goes
sure why not. he does it ...
1 Comments, 76 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Indian Visits House 5/15/2007
An Indian walks into a house and throws a bag of money
on the counter and says, "me want pussy."
The woman working the counter decides that she wants to
have a little fun with him, and tells him that he must first
fu[kcq]k the big oak tree on the hill.
The Indian replies, "me no want tree, me want pussy."
"Sorry, " the lady replies, "those are
the rules." The Indian goes up ...
0 Comments, 159 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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Where Is The Power..? 4/14/2007
I met a female of my age grade in this site. She loved
to write me everyday... she makes my mood to change in writing.
Later I noticed that she has two profiles here, few days
later she automatically stopped writing me. I used to view
her profile everyday to know when last she visited the site
as she could not reply all the mails i sent everyday. I noticed
that she always visit this ...
2 Comments, 58 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Air Love 4/14/2007
What can we do during a twenty-six hours flight ?
0 Comments, 36 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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This is crazy to me… And I am angry about it 4/14/2007
This is crazy to me… And I am angry about it
There is a man on this site who posted 10 articles saying
nothing but “Hello I’m Here”. He has a new article out now
that says, “Maybe” and that is it. Now he holds the rank of
3 most contributing writer in this online magazine. I am
outraged by this because there are many serious writers
here ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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I won't sleep with you tonight! 3/23/2007
A guy goes to a bar. At the other end he sees a pretty woman.
He is so shy that he need an hour gathering up his courage
to go over her and asks, "Would you mind if I chatted
with you?" She suddenly yells to the top of her voice,
"No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" All
people there are staring at them. The guy is completely
embarrassed. A couple of minutes after he sit back to his
table, ...
4 Comments, 284 Views,
25 Votes
,4.68 Score
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Oh, Those In-laws 3/20/2007
There was a married couple who were
in a terrible accident. The woman's face was burned
severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't
graft any skin from her body because she was so thin. The
husband then donated some of his skin.
However, the only place suitable to the doctor was from
his buttocks. The husband requested that no one be told
of this, ...
6 Comments, 151 Views,
15 Votes
,5.89 Score
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Speaking Part 3/11/2007
One afternoon, Christopher's
father picked him up early from school to take Chris to a
dental appointment.
Knowing that the parts for the school play were supposed
to be posted today, the father asked his if he had gotten
a part.
Christopher enthusiastically announced that indeed
he had gotten a part. Chris prouldly exclaimed, "I
play a man who's been married ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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20 Years In Jail 3/7/2007
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband
was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs.
He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in
front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring
at the wall.
She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down ...
12 Comments, 476 Views,
22 Votes
,6.73 Score
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Love VS. Marriage 2/1/2007
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener....
5 Comments, 122 Views,
15 Votes
,4.05 Score
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Confession 2/1/2007
Confession is good for the soul,
but bad for your career....
4 Comments, 85 Views,
10 Votes
,2.79 Score
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RELATIONSHIP HUMOR and/or JOKES you may ask 2/1/2007
I would just like to make a comment
to anyone concerned, I have noticed just a few people
now and then have taken some of my jokes in a serious fashion.
I never make jokes at other peoples expense and I only
use fictitious characters in this Relationship Humor
section of the AFF Magazine.
I know that sometimes due to cultural differences some ...
2 Comments, 82 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
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The old lady and the bank president. 1/18/2007
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the
is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's office.
The president of the ...
2 Comments, 72 Views,
10 Votes
,3.19 Score
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Aliens.!!! 1/17/2007
What's E.T. short for.?????
Cos he's only got little legs.!
0 Comments, 46 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Naughty Mrs. Clause 1/2/2007
Cheesy Joke:
Q: What did Santa say when he caught Mrs. Claus in bed with
a couple of elves?
A: Ho Ho Ho
Please contact the joke police to report intolerable
"cheesiness." 
1 Comments, 51 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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CORPORATE MEMO 12/10/2006
To: All Staff
Date: December 1
Subject: New "Twelve Days of Christmas" Policy
The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen
have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package
has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they
will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions
at the North Pole.
Streamlining is ...
2 Comments, 50 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Sunburned! 11/24/2006
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets
horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly
admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns.
He was already starting to blister and in agony. The doctor
prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline
and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four
hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, ...
3 Comments, 102 Views,
11 Votes
,3.73 Score
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101 Ways To Annoy People 11/21/2006
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for
."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends
in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip
Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your
pen while talking ...
2 Comments, 112 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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what is a sellfish people 11/21/2006
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-..people who doest not think about me!
1 Comments, 34 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
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The big game hunter. 11/21/2006
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone
about his hunting skills.
The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute
that.
But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would
recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he
could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what
caliber the bullet was that killed the animal. ...
2 Comments, 66 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score
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REDNECK ID 11/21/2006
A POLICEMAN STOPPED A REDNECK, AND SAID "YOU GOT ANY
ID?" THE REDNECK REPLIED, "ABOUT WHAT?"
1 Comments, 68 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Blonde jokes ...... OMG too funny!!! 11/12/2006
BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking........
and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think
is farther away..........Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says, "Hellooooo, can
you see Florida...?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works ...
2 Comments, 69 Views,
9 Votes
,3.85 Score
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hello 10/29/2006
i'm here
1 Comments, 25 Views,
2 Votes
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What has been your most embarssing date? 10/25/2006
It think almost everyone has a story or two to tell about
something embarassing that has happened on a date. Here
is one of my all time embarassing moment during a date:
The guy I was dating took me out to a nice Thai restaurant.
We ordered the usually Pad Thai and curry. He ordered a soup
called Tom Yum Kai (which one of my friends calls "Some
Young Guy"). The soup looked ...
0 Comments, 81 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
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