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Honeymoon 10/14/2007
the newly married couple returned fromtheir honeymoon.as
they got off the plane at the crowded airport, the bride
said, Darling, let's make the people think we've
been married a long time"
OK dear, said the husband, "then you carry the bags.
1 Comments, 63 Views,
5 Votes
,5.43 Score
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Husband and wife 10/14/2007
Married life changes over time.In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the wife listens.In the second year, the
woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they
both speak and the neighbor listen.Whoah!
0 Comments, 28 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Marriage 10/14/2007
Marriage is very much like a violin, after the sweet music
is over, the strings are still attached.hehehe
0 Comments, 21 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Marriage 10/14/2007
When a man holds a woman"s hand before marriage, it
is love:after marriage, it is self defence.hahahaha
1 Comments, 39 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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Stepmothers 9/19/2007
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing
could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's
nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to
wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride
ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's
new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer
asked her to exchange it, but she refused. ...
1 Comments, 69 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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A guy was trying to console a friend 9/17/2007
A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just
found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy, " he said. "It's
not the end of the world."
"It's all right for you to say, " answered
his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and
caught another man in bed with your wife?"
The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd
break his cane and kick his ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Warning Labels 9/17/2007
If government is going to put health warning labels on beer,
wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness
about the matter!
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol
may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard
off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol
is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. W...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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What is the difference? 9/17/2007
What is the difference between a pregnant woman
and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb!...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Confession 9/10/2007
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband
is at work. Her 9-year old comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and
hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. The woman's husband also comes
home.
She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the
little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a ...
5 Comments, 92 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
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AT THE SUPERMARKET 8/28/2007
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up
a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around.
Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on.
Finally he went to the check-out line, but she got in front
of him. "Pardon me, " she said, "I'm
sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable.
It's just that you look just like my , who I haven't ...
5 Comments, 158 Views,
18 Votes
,4.08 Score
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The Burned Ears 8/21/2007
A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital
how it happened.
He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone
rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and
burned my ear...''
''But how the heck did you burn the other ear?''
The doctor asked.
''They called back.''
8 Comments, 84 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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Perfumed Blonde 8/21/2007
Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because
it ends up behind her ears anyway!...
5 Comments, 61 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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Stupid Men Quiz... 8/5/2007
How does a man make sex more interesting?
Puts a bag over his head
Moves to the next Room
Leaves town
Coming home to a warm welcome
means:
You swapped your man for a dog
Mom's come about for a visit
You are in the wrong house
[COLOR ...
0 Comments, 19 Views,
0 Votes
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She's So Blonde 7/14/2007
She's so blonde she spent an hour looking at a can of
orange juice because it said "concentrate".
5 Comments, 96 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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Flower Bribes 7/14/2007
One Friday, two women were sitting and talking. One woman
looked up and saw her husband coming down the street with
a bunch of flowers in his hand. She rolled her eyes and said, “There comes the a**hole with
flowers in his hand. Now he'll expect me to spend the
weekend on my back with my legs in the air.”
Her friend promptly replied, “Don't you have a vase?”
2 Comments, 65 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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How did we Meet :-) 4/3/2007
The first person I met online was so interesting to my frieds.
They asked questions of what web site I used and what did
I say that peeked her intrest. I was asked by one aquantice.. No really what Line did you
use on her... LOL
I answered....
Broandband of course.
(wink) ok it's kinda nerdy...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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BETWEENS 3/27/2007
Women's body are so sensitive and they easily get tickled
everywhere.
They said that between finger toes of a woman is the most
sensitive and their weakness.
Q: Where in between finger toes is the women's most
ticklish and weakest and sensitive area?
Find out yourself
15 Comments, 197 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Travel 3/9/2007
Robert Johnson had been retired for a year when
his wife of fifty years suggested one day, "Why don't
we take a cruise for a week and make wild passionate love
like we did when we were young?"
He thought it over and agreed. Bob put on his hat and coat
and went down to the corner drug store. He stepped up to the
counter and asked for a bottle of seasick pills and a box
of condoms. ...
12 Comments, 236 Views,
13 Votes
,4.32 Score
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Speaking Part 3/9/2007
One afternoon, Christopher's
father picked him up early from school to take Chris to a
dental appointment.
Knowing that the parts for the school play were supposed
to be posted today, the father asked his if he had gotten
a part.
Christopher enthusiastically announced that indeed
he had gotten a part. Chris prouldly exclaimed, "I
play a man who's been married ...
1 Comments, 45 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Switched!!! 3/9/2007
A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girlfriend's
birthday. As they had only started dating, after careful
consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike
the right note: personal, but not too personal.
Accompanied by the girlfriend's younger sister,
he went to Dillards and bought a pair of white gloves. The
sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During
the ...
4 Comments, 72 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Ouch!!!! 3/9/2007
A fellow decides to take off
early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar loses
at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters
his house, he doesn't want to wake anyone, so he takes
off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs.
Halfway up the stairs, he falls over backwards and lands
flat on his rear end. That wouldn't have been so bad, ...
3 Comments, 178 Views,
15 Votes
,4.82 Score
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All dolled up 3/9/2007
A couple was going out for the evening. They had
gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrived,
and as the couple walked out the door, the cat shot back in.
They didn't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife
went out to the taxi while the husband went upstairs to chase
the cat out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty
explained to the ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Three sisters 3/9/2007
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save
their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further
step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved
to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so
she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed
by her oldest 's bedroom and heard her screaming.
The ...
6 Comments, 140 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
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The Grill 3/9/2007
A husband and his wife who have been married twenty
years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard
cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over,
weeding flowers from the flower bed.
So the man says to his wife, "Your rear end is almost
as wide as this grill." She says nothing and ignores
the remark.
A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and ...
3 Comments, 77 Views,
5 Votes
,5.43 Score
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the crow and the fox 2/26/2007
Master Crow perched on a tree, Holding a cheese inside of his beak. Master Fox, attracted by the smell Said something like this : "Hello there, good day Mister Crow ! How lovely you are ! how handsome you appear to me ! Honestly, if your song voice Is like your feathers, You are the phoenix of all the inhabitants in these woods."
And by these words, the Crow is overjoyed. And in order to show his ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
7 Votes
,1.26 Score
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If is sounds too good to be true... 2/14/2007
You may of heard of the expression warning,
"if it sounds too good to be true,
it probably is." I am here to say that this
is true with relationships! If you think
I am being paranoid, best of luck with your
relationship with that astronaut.
At least you were warned!
0 Comments, 27 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Jumbo sausage please 2/6/2007
A Japanese man married to an American woman who can never
speak Japanese language. Let' name her Cynthia!
Cynthia wants to impress her husband by cooking his favorite
food. But when she checked the fridge there is no pork. So
she went to a butcher, since she can't speak Japanese
she showed her thigh. The butcher understood what she needs.
That night her husband had a ...
3 Comments, 168 Views,
17 Votes
,1.43 Score
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searching for the perfect man 12/26/2006
Situation:2 Freundine im Cafe, die eine Freundin will
der Single-Freundin ein Mann vorstellen.Freundin A=Single
und Freundin B=Verkuplerin
Freundin A mit Anfang 20
B:Süße ich habe da ein netten Mann für dich?
A st er HÜBSCH?
Freundin A mit Anfang 30
B:Süsse ich habe da ein netten Mann den ich dir vorstellen
könnte!
A: Hat er GELD??
Freundin A mit ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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RELATIONSHIP HUMOR and/or JOKES you may ask 12/13/2006
I would just like to make a comment
to anyone concerned, I have noticed just a few people
now and then have taken some of my jokes in a serious fashion.
I never make jokes at other peoples expense and I only
use fictitious characters in this Relationship Humor
section of the AFF Magazine.
I know that sometimes due to cultural differences some ...
2 Comments, 82 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
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Oh, Those In-laws 12/8/2006
There was a married couple who were
in a terrible accident. The woman's face was burned
severely. The doctor told the husband they couldn't
graft any skin from her body because she was so thin. The
husband then donated some of his skin.
However, the only place suitable to the doctor was from
his buttocks. The husband requested that no one be told
of this, ...
6 Comments, 151 Views,
15 Votes
,5.89 Score
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