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Donkey & Onion 7/11/2006
What do you get when you cross a Donkey and an Onion?
Answer: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!!
0 Comments, 71 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score
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Don't Step on the Ducks 7/11/2006
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have
one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all
over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
and although they try their best to avoid them, the first
woman accidentally steps on one.
...
0 Comments, 84 Views,
16 Votes
,6.36 Score
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What Communication Problems? 6/29/2006
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends
when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh,
we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great
relationship, " the wife explained. "He was
a communications major in college and I majored in theater
arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm
listening."
0 Comments, 116 Views,
20 Votes
,3.76 Score
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Pretending to be married 5/17/2006
Pretending to be Married
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves
assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental
train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing
a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly...he
in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, ...
0 Comments, 928 Views,
96 Votes
,4.75 Score
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WALKING INTO A BAR 4/25/2006
1. A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "GIMME A BEER,
AND A MOP.' 2. A penguin walks into a bar and says, "ANYBODY
SEEN MY BROTHER?" The bartender replies, "WHAT
DOES HE LOOK LIKE?" 3. A neutron walks into a bar. The
bartender says, "NO CHARGE." 4. A mushroom
walks into a bar. The bartender says, "SORRY PAL,
WE ...
1 Comments, 152 Views,
16 Votes
,1.95 Score
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ALCOHOL RELATED 4/25/2006
2 DRUNKS WERE WALKING DOWN SOME RAILROAD TRACKS."I
SURE WOULD LIKE TO GET OFF THIS STAIRWAY, " SAID ONE.
THE OTHER REPLIED, "I DON'T MIND THE STAIRS,
BUT THE HANDRAIL IS TO LOW."
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN IRISH WEDDING AND AN IRISH
FUNERAL? ONE LESS DRUNK AT THE FUNERAL.
WHEN IS THE ONLY TIME A DRUNK TELLS THE TRUTH? WHEN HE CALLS ...
1 Comments, 96 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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The difference between theory and reality. 4/7/2006
A young boy needed help with his schoolwork, so he went to
his father."Dad, I have to explain the difference
between theory and reality for science class. Can you help
me?" The father replied, "Sure , I can help
you. go into the kitchen and ask your mother if she would
sleep with the mailman for 50 thousand dollars. Then I want
you to go upstairs and ask your sister if she would sleep
with ...
0 Comments, 106 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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When is being comfortable, too comfortable? 3/25/2006
As a woman, if I am with my boyfriend, when during the course
of the relationship is it alright to become COMFORTABLE
in the relationship, and is it being too comfortable? Personally,
I don't think I am capable of finding a time where I can
naturally burp or worse, relieve myself in the presence
of my boyfriend. I just don't think there is a good time
for that- ever. Not even in ...
0 Comments, 250 Views,
9 Votes
,2.57 Score
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MUST READ Extremely Lame Pick Up Lines 2/25/2006
1. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go
back to my place and spread the word.
<br>
2. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom
floor tomorrow morning.
<br>
3. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
<br>
4. I like every bone in your body especially mine.
<br>
5. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops
up?
...
1 Comments, 219 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score
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10 Of The World's Worst Pick-Up Lines 2/25/2006
Your eyes meet across a crowded room... the atmosphere
is charged with desire... you approach, cool and composed...
and knock 'em dead with a line like...
<br>
1. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
<br>
2. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house?
<br>
3. You have to tell me your name, because last night in my
dreams, I could only ...
1 Comments, 231 Views,
7 Votes
,3.30 Score
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RULES in handling your...P^^^^ 2/19/2006
1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.
2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.
<br>
3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw,
it is not standard practice to come on someone's face.
<br>
4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.
<br>
5. My ears are NOT handles.
<br>
6. Extension to rule #5 - do ...
1 Comments, 137 Views,
11 Votes
,2.98 Score
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They Got My Girlfriend Too! 2/13/2006
Welcome to Auntie M's Classic Jokes.
<br>
Police Jokes
<br>
A man walked out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a
key in his hand. A street cop on his beat sees the guy and approaches
him. "Can I help you, sir?" said the cop.
<br>
"Yesssh! Ssssshomebody ssshtole my car!"
the man replied.
<br>
The policeman asked, "Where was the car the last time ...
2 Comments, 103 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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Ladies Night Out! 2/13/2006
The other night , a few friends of mine went out to this "Lady's
Club." One of the women wanted to impress us. So, she
pulled out a $10 bill.
<br>
The male dancer came over to us, and my friend licked the
$10 bill and put it on his butt. Not to be out done, one of the
other women pulled out a $50 bill. She called the guy back
over, licked the $50 bill, and put it on his other butt ...
4 Comments, 143 Views,
8 Votes
,4.17 Score
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Machine Doctor 11/1/2005
One day a man was playing tennis when he hurt his arm. He dreaded
going to the doctor cause of the long wait and the large bill.
His friend told him of a new machine at the pharmacy called
Machine Doctor.
His friend told him to just place a sample of his urine and
10.00 in the machine and it would tell him what was wrong
and how to fix it.
Feeling that he had nothing to lose the man ...
0 Comments, 175 Views,
10 Votes
,3.98 Score
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Don't Lie To Your Mother 9/11/2005
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal,
his mother
couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's
roommate was. She had long
been suspicious of a relationship between John and his
roommate and
this only made her more curious.
<br>
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact,
she
started to wonder if there was more between John and the ...
0 Comments, 200 Views,
7 Votes
,5.33 Score
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No sex tonight? 9/11/2005
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and
Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and
women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were
getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually
says "I don't feel ...
0 Comments, 419 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score
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Why men lies 8/30/2005
One day a woodcutter was cutting a branch when his axe slipped
and fell into the river below. He fell on his knees and prayed
and the Lord appeared.
"Why are you crying?", the Lord asked. The woodcutter
replied that his axe had fallen into water.
<br>
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden
axe. "Is this your axe?", he asked.
<br>
"No", The ...
2 Comments, 258 Views,
7 Votes
,4.31 Score
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"Old" Is When... 8/27/2005
I got this funny article  wanna share it with you lolz.
<br>
Your woman says, "Let's go upstairs and make
love, " and you answer, "Honey, I can't
do both!"
<br>
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes
and you're barefoot.
<br>
A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens
the garage door.
<br>
You don't care where your ...
3 Comments, 181 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Love & Marriage (quotes from the infamous) 8/21/2005
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge
than to let him keep her." Sacha Guitry.
<br>
<br>
"There is one thing I would break up over and that is
if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand
for that." Steve Martin.
<br>
<br>
"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her
is his wife." Groucho Marx.
<br>
...
2 Comments, 1286 Views,
81 Votes
,5.93 Score
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Smart Woman! 7/22/2005
Augusto had worked all his life, saved all his money, and
was a real
miser. Just before he died, he said to his wife, Maria, "When
I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the coffin
so I can take it all to the
afterlife with me."
<br>
And so Maria promised him, with all her heart, that when
he died, she would
put all the money in the coffin with him. Well, ...
0 Comments, 1416 Views,
14 Votes
,5.22 Score
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Need a break from serious relationship? :) 7/12/2005
What Happens When You Fall In Love With
<br>
A chef? (You get buttered up.)
A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.)
A gambler? (He cheats on you.)
A telephone operator? (He gives you a phone-y line.)
A trashman? (He dumps you.)
A clockmaker? (He two-times you.)
A pastry cook? (He desserts you.)
A shoe salesman? (He walks all over you.)
An elevator operator? (He lets ...
1 Comments, 462 Views,
18 Votes
,2.31 Score
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a strange friend from AFF 5/24/2005
I've looked for pure friendship on AFF for a long long
time. I hope I can have a foreign friend who can help me with
my oral English. Of course, I can also help foreigners with
many things. And foreigners need Chinese friends in China.
One day I saw the profile of Australian_Bo on AFF. I contacted
the man and the man came to Shenzhen to see me many times.
His name is Lang bo. Before he came ...
1 Comments, 362 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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a strange friend from AFF 5/16/2005
I've looked for pure friendship on AFF for a long long
time. I hope I can have a foreign friend who can help me with
my oral English. Of course, I can also help foreigners with
many things. And foreigners need Chinese friends in China.
One day I saw the profile of Australian_Bo on AFF. I contacted
the man and the man came to Shenzhen to see me many times.
His name is Lang ...
1 Comments, 340 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score
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Men Are Like Fine Wine, Women Are Like Fine Wine 2/1/2005
Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and
it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark
until they mature into something with which you'd
like to have dinner with.
<br>
Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity
and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied
with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you
a headache.
1 Comments, 435 Views,
14 Votes
,4.42 Score
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Men and Women 12/4/2004
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay
$1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
<br>
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
<br>
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
<br>
...
0 Comments, 499 Views,
39 Votes
,8.45 Score
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