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BETTY CROCKER 4/3/2000 This husband comes home from a hard day at work and his wife says "Honey, can you fix the sink? It's clogged." The husband is very tired and replies:"Who do you thinkI am, a Plumber?" So, the hus 0 Comments, 243 Views, 0 Votes | |
Fishing trip 4/3/2000 A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They have sex for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's 0 Comments, 98 Views, 0 Votes | |
How to get rid of your date-fast! 4/3/2000 Have a horrible date you JUST can't get out of? Realize mid-date that this guy/girl is the mayor of Loserville? Rather than simply ordering expensive food, use one of these steps and you'll never 0 Comments, 73 Views, 0 Votes | |
Anniversary 4/3/2000 A husband and wife are celebrating their 50th anniversary. That night the wife approaches her husband wearing the exact same sexy little negligee she wore on their wedding night. She looks at her hu 0 Comments, 413 Views, 0 Votes | |
Sperm bank 4/3/2000 A guy in a ski mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun. <br> "Open the fucking safe!" He yells at the girl behind the counter. <br> "But we're not a real bank." She replies, " 0 Comments, 1899 Views, 0 Votes | |
Pan swatting 4/3/2000 <br> <br> This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a hug 0 Comments, 78 Views, 0 Votes | |
Senior Travel 4/3/2000 A senior couple pulls up to a gas station:Attendant: How may I help you? Old Man: Please fill it up.Old Lady: What did he say? Old Man [yelling]: He asked what we wanted and I told himto fill it up 0 Comments, 249 Views, 0 Votes | |
Wedding Vow Bribe 4/3/2000 During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.When you get to me and the part where I'm to promi 0 Comments, 113 Views, 0 Votes | |
Emotional, physical and financial needs. 4/3/2000 Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says "WHAT??" The wife e 0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes | |
The Rules (male version) 4/3/2000 <br> <br> Rules that guys wished girls knew... 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. <br> 2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down. &l 0 Comments, 1500 Views, 0 Votes | |
Firm up 4/3/2000 One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of 0 Comments, 138 Views, 0 Votes | |
Application to date my 4/3/2000 <br> Name: Last___________First______________ M. Initial_______ Age______ Address: ________________________________County______________________ Religion: ________________________#Attendanc 0 Comments, 1154 Views, 0 Votes | |
The perfect gift 4/3/2000 A married man was talking to his buddy, and he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday, she has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I'm stumped." 0 Comments, 63 Views, 0 Votes | |
The difference between Potential and Reality 4/3/2000 A comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then s 0 Comments, 86 Views, 0 Votes | |
Sex in the Dark 4/3/2000 Jane was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp--only 0 Comments, 45 Views, 0 Votes | |
Half sister 4/3/2000 One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her nam 0 Comments, 127 Views, 0 Votes | |
Friends 4/3/2000 (A)ccepts you as you are (elieves in "you" (C)alls you just to say "HI" (D)oesn't give up on you (E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts) (F)orgives your mistakes (G)ives 0 Comments, 40 Views, 0 Votes | |
50/50 4/3/2000 A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the ham 0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes | |
Conmpany's party 4/3/2000 A guy wakes up one morning with a hangover. Going downstairs he asks his wife, "Honey, I know I made a fool out of myself at the company party last night, so tell me what I did.""You got in an argum 0 Comments, 53 Views, 0 Votes | |
Deadly wife 4/3/2000 A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease,combined 0 Comments, 16 Views, 0 Votes | |
Rifle Shop 4/3/2000 A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is 0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes | |
Bigger breast 4/3/2000 A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks 0 Comments, 25 Views, 0 Votes | |
Two Statues in the Park 4/3/2000 For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from Heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues, " he announced to them, 0 Comments, 83 Views, 0 Votes | |
comment 4/3/2000 Tips on love, from those who should know. All questions were answered by , ages 5-10.WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED? "Eighty-four, because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and yo 0 Comments, 106 Views, 0 Votes | |
Young couple 4/3/2000 A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As Emma undressed for bed, the husband (who was a burly bruiser) tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, p 0 Comments, 309 Views, 0 Votes | |
Labor Pains 4/3/2000 Once a woman was in labor; she was having a really tough time dealing with the pain. The doctor came to her husband and her and told them of a new experimental drug that allows the woman to transfer 0 Comments, 117 Views, 0 Votes | |
Attempt love making 4/3/2000 TO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every tendays. The following is a list of why I did not su 0 Comments, 1688 Views, 0 Votes | |
The best love story. 4/3/2000 Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island woul 0 Comments, 183 Views, 0 Votes | |
pickup lines 4/3/2000 Man: Haven't we met before?Woman: Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.Man: Isthis seat empty? 0 Comments, 172 Views, 0 Votes | |
Dating quiz 4/3/2000 Make sure you have a pen and paper to write down all of your answers... or just a really good memory. Try to imagine this happening... 1) You are walking to your love's house. There are two roads t 0 Comments, 194 Views, 0 Votes |
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