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Love is ..... 8/14/2009
If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.
If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.
If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff,
eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money and
never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first
place, you either married it or gave birth ...
0 Comments, 400 Views,
15 Votes
,3.44 Score
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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN 1/1/2013
* Wine her,
* Dine her,
* Call her,
* Hug her,
* Support her,
* Hold her,
* Surprise her,
* Compliment her,
* Smile at her,
* Listen to her,
* Laugh with her,
* Cry with her,
* Romance her,
* Encourage her,
* Believe in her,
* Pray with her,
* Pray for her,
* Cuddle with her,
* Shop with her,
* Give her jewelry,
* Buy her flowers,
* Hold her hand,
* ...
0 Comments, 343 Views,
26 Votes
,3.89 Score
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BETWEENS 8/26/2007
Women's body are so sensitive and they easily get tickled
everywhere.
They said that between finger toes of a woman is the most
sensitive and their weakness.
Q: Where in between finger toes is the women's most
ticklish and weakest and sensitive area?
Find out yourself
15 Comments, 197 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
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AT THE SUPERMARKET 12/31/2011
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up
a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around.
Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on.
Finally he went to the check-out line, but she got in front
of him. "Pardon me, " she said, "I'm
sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable.
It's just that you look just like my , who I haven't ...
5 Comments, 158 Views,
18 Votes
,4.08 Score
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Three sisters 7/30/2007
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save
their parents the expense of separate weddings. As a further
step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved
to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn't sleep, so
she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. On her way, she tiptoed
by her oldest 's bedroom and heard her screaming.
The ...
6 Comments, 140 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
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A quickie from my grandmother 4/19/2011
A man asks his wife if she feels like going out that evening.
She replies, "Yes, but I'd like to go somewhere
really expensive."
The man, always trying to impress his wife, tries to think
of the most expensive place around. So he takes her to the
nearest gas station. 
3 Comments, 112 Views,
14 Votes
,5.06 Score
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She's So Blonde 8/11/2007
She's so blonde she spent an hour looking at a can of
orange juice because it said "concentrate".
5 Comments, 96 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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The Chinese restaurant owner 1/1/2008
A single Chinese man owns a Chinese restaurant,
and one day a beautiful Chinese woman walks in. He immediately
walks over and asks her out on a date. She agrees. They go
out for a while, and soon, the man proposes to her. She says
"Yes, but before we do, there's something you
must know. I have never had the sex, but I've read about
it." He says that it's not a problem, and they
are ...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Confession 10/1/2007
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband
is at work. Her 9-year old comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and
hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. The woman's husband also comes
home.
She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the
little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a ...
5 Comments, 92 Views,
7 Votes
,5.59 Score
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The Burned Ears 9/4/2007
A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital
how it happened.
He said, ''I was ironing my clothing and the phone
rang... So, instead of the phone I picked up the iron and
burned my ear...''
''But how the heck did you burn the other ear?''
The doctor asked.
''They called back.''
8 Comments, 84 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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The Grill 7/30/2007
A husband and his wife who have been married twenty
years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard
cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over,
weeding flowers from the flower bed.
So the man says to his wife, "Your rear end is almost
as wide as this grill." She says nothing and ignores
the remark.
A little later, the husband takes his measuring tape and ...
3 Comments, 77 Views,
5 Votes
,5.43 Score
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TV vs Cellphone 1/20/2020
Wife is like TV, girlfriend is like Cellphone
At home watch TV, go out bring Cellphone.
Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with Cellphone.
TV free for life but Cellphone, if you don't pay the
services will be terminated
TV is big, bulky and most of the time old, but Cellphone is
cute, slim, curvy and very portable.
Operational cost for TV ...
2 Comments, 72 Views,
10 Votes
,5.58 Score
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Stepmothers 11/30/2007
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing
could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's
nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to
wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride
ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's
new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer
asked her to exchange it, but she refused. ...
1 Comments, 69 Views,
8 Votes
,3.01 Score
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A guy was trying to console a friend 9/23/2007
A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just
found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy, " he said. "It's
not the end of the world."
"It's all right for you to say, " answered
his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and
caught another man in bed with your wife?"
The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd
break his cane and kick his ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Riddles..! 8/27/2007
Who settled in the West before anyone else?
"The Sun"
*********************************************
What goes from Malaysia to Singapore?
"The Road."
********************************************
Three men stand under an umbrella but nobody gets wet. How
can this be?
"It is not raining."
*********************************************
What starts with "T" ends ...
1 Comments, 65 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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Honeymoon 5/5/2008
the newly married couple returned fromtheir honeymoon.as
they got off the plane at the crowded airport, the bride
said, Darling, let's make the people think we've
been married a long time"
OK dear, said the husband, "then you carry the bags.
1 Comments, 63 Views,
5 Votes
,5.43 Score
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Perfumed Blonde 9/16/2007
Why does a blonde put perfume on her ankles? Because
it ends up behind her ears anyway!...
5 Comments, 61 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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A very desperate marriage 1/2/2008
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose
to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever
been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for
the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around
to suggesting marriage much less living together.
But one day, he became determined to ask her the question.
So he calls her on the phone, ...
2 Comments, 59 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Warning Labels 9/23/2007
If government is going to put health warning labels on beer,
wine and liquor, let's at least have a little truthfulness
about the matter!
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol
may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard
off a shit truck at 100 yards. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol
is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. W...
1 Comments, 49 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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What do Women Look For ? What do men look For? 12/6/2015
Women Look for: Fast car Lots of money Perfect Hair Nice teeth Jokes in perfect amount Serious in perfect amount Able to ride . (white ) Has own suit of amor Able to make romantic se only on request)
What men want: Pretty Face Long Hair Small waist Perfect breast no matter what size Able to follow orders Smart but not too smart Likes Sex all the time Likes sports and action movies ...
0 Comments, 48 Views,
8 Votes
,1.86 Score
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Going crazy with confusion 1/7/2008
A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution
and asked a patient, "How did you get here? What was
the nature of your illness?" He got the following
reply.
"Well, it all started when I got married and I guess
I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown
who then became my stepdaughter.
My dad came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Married life 6/14/2008
Married life is full of excitement and frustration: * In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman
listens. * In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
* In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely
an eye-opener.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant
with ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Marriage 10/31/2007
When a man holds a woman"s hand before marriage, it
is love:after marriage, it is self defence.hahahaha
1 Comments, 39 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score
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The old lady and the bank president. 11/14/2007
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the
is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's office.
The president of the ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Marriage is not a word. 4/26/2008
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music
is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is
an institution for the blind.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's
Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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What Happens When You Fall In Love With... 11/24/2017
What Happens When You Fall In Love With
A chef ? (You get buttered up.) A chauffeur ? (You get taken for a ride.) A gambler ? (He cheats on you.) A garbage collector ? (He dumps you.) A clockmaker ? (He two-times you.) A pastry cook ? (He desserts you.) A shoe salesman ? (He walks all over you.) An elevator operator ? (He lets you down.) An artist ? (He gives you the brush.) A jogger ? ...
1 Comments, 30 Views,
8 Votes
,3.25 Score
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hmm 11/26/2007
ye its a joke
1 Comments, 30 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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What is the difference? 9/23/2007
What is the difference between a pregnant woman
and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb!...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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AM I UGLY? 10/10/2009
OK I WANT TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME. I'VE WRITTEN
SOME ARTICLES AND I HAVE MY PICTURE UP, SOOOO WATCHA THINK?
AM I UGLY 1 BEING YES AND 10 BEING HELL NO.LOL
0 Comments, 17 Views,
1 Votes
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men fear marriage 5/23/2011
An organization that makes men fear marriage The British had an organization that Americans are now
considering adopting.
It seems that in England, they had a men's club, Bachelors'
Anonymous. It was highly successful in making men fear
or even hate marriage.
The club provided a unique way to treat the problem of bachelors
wanting to marry. They send over a mother-in-law ...
1 Comments, 16 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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